Ep. 17 – Holy Moly Mango Guacamole; Gazpacho

Take an avocado, wait until it ripens (yes, in our village you rarely find ripe avocado), the idea is to have it buttery greenish-yellow and not brown. 🙂

Then we run a full lunch menu for a really hot day. 🙂

Gazpacho – two medium tomatoes, half a red onion, a larger cucumber, half an avocado, a handful of green parsley, a quarter of green pepper, cut into pieces (keep a tablespoon of the mixture for decoration), blended, plus some salt, pepper, a pinch of brown sugar and the juice of half a lime. You can dilute it with a little more water, but I liked it the way it came out. Refrigerated for about a quarter of an hour and decorated with the spoonful of preserved vegetables. You will get a 250ml glass.

The original recipes from Spain (Andalusia) are without avocado, parsley and lime, with garlic mashed with some old and rehydrated bread, olive oil and wine vinegar, plus some water. When I get there I’ll test to see what they taste like. 🙂

Guacamole – half avocado cut into pieces, one tomato and half red onion, finely chopped, two large slices of mango diced, two or three slices of pickled jalapeno, some green parsley leaves and a remaining juice of half a lime, some olive oil. Stir and leave for a while, then serve as a garnish for a slice of pork made in a pan. You can eat with tortilla chips, if you want a vegan version.

Well, either I was very hungry or it came out as it should have, but I licked the plate. :))))

On this occasion I did not destroy anything, but I emptied what I had in the fridge. 🙂

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disaster in the kitchen

Ep. 16 – Countryside Cake with Redcurrants

Inspired rom the German countryside, a cake with a shortcrust pastry and a meringue with redcurrants and almond flakes. A perfect countryside… :)))

Well, from the start I have to admit that I’m not just a mess in the kitchen, I’m also a bit masochistic :)) All year long I longed to make meringue cakes, although I can’t do meringue. 🙂 But what would be life without trying to overcome limits? 🙂

In theory it is an easy cake to make. The pastry is made of 6 egg yolks, 150g sugar, a vanilla sugar, some salt, mixed well, to which is added 150g cold butter (mine was at room temperature and was ok), about 2 tablespoons of cold water and 400g flour and a baking powder. I used the mixer (at the end the dough paddles), because I didn’t have the patience to mix the ingredients by hand. Put the dough in a foil and leave it in the fridge for half an hour.

I spread it out by hand and put it in the tray on baking paper. Bake for 15 minutes, on medium heat, until is almost done. Then add the meringue on top. And leave for 20 more minutes in the oven on low temperature.

Meringue: 6 egg whites, 200g mixed hard (when you turn the bowl the composition does not fall) – yes, I know, either you have an experienced hand, or a good mixer. In the sugar foam I then added 300g of redcurrants and about 100g of almond flakes (in the original recipe there were 500g of fruit and 200g of crushed almonds) and I mixed them gently with a spoon.

For fear of burning it, I moved the tray up in the oven and put the temperature on lowest, then stopped it. At some point I discovered that the meringue wasn’t exactly done, so I started the fire again and left it with the door slightly open… For how long? As I wrote about 2-3 articles on the blog. 😀 The result is not really a disaster, but it could have been even better. :)))

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See here all the disasters in the kitchen.

disaster in the kitchen

Special ep. – Salad for When You Travel

This time we gave up the traditional schnitzels (we have a family joke on this topic) and had a delicious salad in return (seriously, it leaves my mouth watering only when I remember it).

Iceberg lettuce, grated carrot, finely chopped celery, thin slices of radishes and green parsley; put in individual casseroles and kept cold in the fridge bag. Dressing made of mustard, oil, spices and lemon, put in the jar. On the side.

Vegan version: salad

Vegetarian version: salad plus mozzarella

Meat-eaters version: salad plus barbecue plus mozzarella (as you like it)

Logically that mozzarella and grill are stored separately. Ditto, buns.

Well, it wasn’t a disaster, it was prepared by the Chef. But I got hungry writing this article, disaaaaaaaaaaster!

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See here all the disasters in the kitchen.

disaster in the kitchen

Ep. 15 – Pork Soup with Cumin

Or a kind of goulash that is not really goulash, but is close. 😀

I didn’t know exactly what soup to make, although I felt like a tomato soup. In the end I took a package of some pieces of meat out of the freezer, only I couldn’t find the label and from the plane it seemed to be something between pork and beef. There were really pieces of pork, that is why the tomato soup turned into a pork soup. With vegetables from the fridge. :)) In this case carrots, onions, parsnips, green peppers and frozen green beans. I would have put celery, but I forgot about it, because it was in the freezer. :)) And I prepared the green beans as a second course, as a result I had a rather empty soup and not many options, no more beans or potatoes. Disaster, I told you. :)))

Well I solve it in the end, with some cumin, vegeta, two chopped tomatoes and dumplings – csipetke (made from egg and flour). Then I realized that if I put beef and possibly a potato, plus some paprika, it would have been a mama mia goulash. :))))

It tastes super good, probably because I cooked the meat and vegetables properly. :))) Next time I put more water, because if I didn’t know who cooked it, I could have sworn she’s a Transylvanian from Sibiu. :))))

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See here all the disasters in the kitchen.

disaster in the kitchen

Ep. 14 – Eggplant and Beef Moussaka

I usually prefer to make lasagna, because the chance to mess it up is lower. :)) This time I said to change and make moussaka with no meat. I half boiled some new potatoes; cut the eggplant into thicker slices and put them in the oven, in the pan, on parchment paper and seasoned with salt and olive oil and let them softened slightly; opened a can of tomatoes in broth. Then I realized that ups, only potatoes and eggplants sound a bit strange even for me. :)) So I started making a sauce with minced beef, in which I added some onions, garlic and chopped carrots, spices, a glass of wine. And finally the tomatoes.

After the meat was well done, I discovered that the first tray is too small and the second one is too big. :)) Typical. Eventually I used the second one, in which I put a layer of potatoes, one of eggplant and the last one with the meat sauce, and on top some grated white cheese (yellow cheese or mozzarella, next time). If you have a bigger tray and enough ingredients, it is preferable to have a couple of layers. That and assuming you use potatoes that do not crumble.

The original version is made with bechamel sauce, but you have to run a lot of water on my local spring Spurcata until I get to eat something like that. :))) Again, I found a variant in which the eggplant is fried with breadcrumbs – you can try this too.

How many fingers did you burn Claudia? Only one. :))))

And the stove escaped whole? Well, a little dirty… :)))

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See here all the disasters in the kitchen.

disaster in the kitchen

Special ep. – Cherry Jam

As long as we can find cherries / sour cherries in the market. 🙂

The process was a long and elaborate disaster. I picked the cherries with these two little hands. For some long hours, although I did not perceive the passage of time, only the roaring song of the rooster (boy, this one sings during the day too, who would have thought. :)))) After which I got home. And I thought that in two steps and three movements I would peel a box of cherries. Big mistake, huge mistake. :)))) Around 9 pm, I was waiting for the sugar to melt and bring the cherries to a boil. Something that happened in about 3 rounds, due to insufficient utensils. :))) Then came a new day, to put bones, muscles and joints in place, such as robocop, and a new disaster – look for jars, call a friend, because they are not enough, wash the jars, sterilize them, boil the jam, it doesn’t thicken, what do we do, call our friend again. :))) Finally I did the test with the fridge (put the jam in the fridge and if it thickens, it’s done :)))) and the result was not so disastrous. Victory!!!

I saw that the local recipes use 1 to 1 ratio – a kilogram of fruit for a kilogram of sugar and cooked until they thicken, plus some lemon as a preservative. Germans are more normal, usually use 1 to 2 – half a kilo of sugar with gelfix to a kilo of fruit, left to sit for 2 hours, boiled for 4 minutes and put in a jar. I put 350g of sugar per kilo of fruit plus half gelfix 3in1, but I boiled the fruits with sugar until it reduced to about a third of the amount.

What I didn’t understand is why is palm oil in gelfix ???? Honestly, you can find palm oil in everything, it’s absurd…

The final disaster was also a lesson in physics – can textiles carry the liquid from the tea? Yes, they can. :))) But can they do the same with the jam? Yes, the can do it, too. :))))

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See here all the disasters in the kitchen.

disaster in the kitchen

Ep. 13 – Beet Borscht

Tell us right now, did you succeed in not altering the original recipe? Weeeell…. :))))

Inspired by our neighbors (Ukrainians, Russians or Poles, as you prefer) beet borscht can be a long soup, my case, or not, in the case of Jamie Oliver. And even a cream soup made with a blender, if you start reading vegan books (better not :)))). I took the red cabbage out of the recipe, because I didn’t have any :D, and I thought of replacing it with potatoes. It’s just that until I remember them, the borscht was boiled and I ate it. :)))

Well, how to do it: finely chop red onion, garlic, celery, carrots, tomatoes and beets and throw them in a pot with salt, pepper, vegeta, oil, basil and sautee the vegetables, then add water or meat or vegetable stock (if you are talented); if you want the version with red cabbage, add chopped one; if you want potatoes, put them towards the end, cut into pieces.

It has a beautiful color and it tastes super good (if you haven’t forgotten to season it :))). I let the vegetables be a little crunchy, because I don’t like super cooked ones.

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See here all the disasters in the kitchen.

disaster in the kitchen

Ep. 12 – Fish and Potatoes Salad

Chef asks me, don’t we better make a potato salad with fish? Well, what a question. :)))

The recipe is inspired by Jamie Oliver and it is so good that it is worth sharing on fast forward. 😛

Some new potatoes washed well (I use a green alien as a brush) and boiled. Some fish baked on parchment paper, with olive oil, spices and lemon – I used mackerel fillets, but next time I’ll change it with code. If you have smoked fish (herring, mackerel) it’s super ok and then you don’t have to bake it.

In a bowl put the boiled potatoes, cut into large pieces and add on top of the red pepper, red onion, and fresh hot pepper, cut into thin slices, freshly chopped dill, salt, pepper.

Mix the vegetables with a dressing made of mayonnaise, lime (or lemon) juice and mustard. Of course you may not have anything to put on the salad if the devil made you try the dressing before. :))) I would have eaten it on the bread… or why waste the bread, directly with the teaspoon, from the bowl. :)))

Add the fish on top.

You will gonna lick your fingers, that’s so good (also the plate). :)))

Well and you didn’t destroy anything? I was about to destroy the potatoes, but I took them from the fire in time. 🙂 The dressing was made by Chef, otherwise I don’t know what came out of it. :)))

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See here all the disasters in the kitchen.

disaster in the kitchen

Ep. 11 – Tuna with Mayo

What else did you destroy this time? :)) Nothing. 😀 I just modified the recipe a bit, through the essential parts. :)))

Well, I combined a canned tuna with red onion and green olives, a little mayonnaise, salt, pepper and lemon juice. I saw on the internet that celery is usually added and mayonnaise is in larger quantities. I added one tomato – because it wasn’t colorful enough, logically – and some decorative parsley (which I really could have used more). To eat with buns with seeds.

This means you had to make it with what you had in the fridge. Yes, you got me. :)))

But, mayo? Yes, it was after an hour of sports. :)))

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See here all the disasters in the kitchen.

disaster in the kitchen

Ep. 10 – Cherry Tart

And what do we have today Fräulein? Eine kleine cherry pie. 🙂

Officially it’s one of the most complicated things I’ve ever done, considering that only the baking time exceeds one whole hour. Eine ganze Stunde !!! OMGosh… (Who does not understand the meaning of this, does not cook recipes for up to 15 minutes :)))

I have a book with recipes for pies and pies from overseas from which I was initially inspired. After that I started researching on the internet and inventorying different doughs. At the end of this stage I chose two options, one basic, with flour and fat and the second, in which eggs are added. It is quite simple to remember, the ratio is 1: 2 (1 serving fat, 2 flour).

Option 1 (for 2 sheets): 500g flour, 250g butter (or you can mix butter and margarine), 6 tablespoons cold water, salt.

Option 2 (for 2 sheets): 2 eggs are added to the above ingredients.

Variations: if you want a sweet dough you can add another tablespoon of sugar (although possibly the dough will be harder to handle), if you want a spicy dough, etc. add spices, if you want other fancy stuff, add ground nuts, etc. If it doesn’t bind properly, add some more water (I put about 8-10 tablespoons in the first version). The second dough may come out slightly sticky, if you put more water than necessary (either fix the situation by adding flour, or put it in the fridge and with a little luck it may spread at the end).

Knead the ingredients by hand or mixer, until they are bound in a dough (not too much, because it becomes elastic and there is no more fragile dough), then cover with foil and put in the fridge for about an hour.

I forgot to add salt to the first dough :)) After which I struggled to spread it – I don’t know if because I kneaded it too much with the mixer or because I forgot it too much in the fridge 🙂 . The second one I put it in the freezer, to fasten the process, because my patience was almost over. :))) Fortunately even if I put two more extra spoons of water, I was able to stretch it.

Remove from the fridge, divide the dough in two and spread it in two sheets, with the rolling pin. The first is placed in the tray, above the fruit filling and then the second sheet. I pricked them both with a fork.

Well, while the dough was in the fridge, I started preparing the cherries. About 3 kg :))) Two days after I finished eating the cake my fingers still haven’t recovered from the trauma of cleaning cherry pits :)))) I appreciated the fact that there are no more worms in cherries, but really does no one invent seedless cherries?

How to make the filling: in my case approx. 1 kg of pitted and washed cherries, mixed with 2-4 tablespoons of sugar (if you are American you will probably put a cup of sugar) and 3 tablespoons of flour. And if you want a few cubes of butter (which I missed, they didn’t seem relevant to me).

In a hot oven, I baked the tart on medium temperature for approx. 45 minutes, with an aluminum foil on top, then another 15-20 minutes, without foil. I wanted to put the foil at the end only on the edges, so it doesn’t burn, but I only managed to burn some fingers :))) At the second tart (yes, I made two: D) the temperature was too low so I had to leave it longer (don’t do as I did, you risk burning one side and the other left uncooked).

The tart is made when the dough is baked and the fruit filling makes some sexy bubbles :))

8 consistent portions came out – große und sehr gut 😀 (in a 25 cm tray). If you haven’t done it before, you can try it for the first time in a smaller tray, with only a part of the ingredients.

For the next round I would like to try the peach or apricot version. Let’s see what fruits will be in the market.

UPDATE 10.2020

I also tried the variants with plums and quince, with simple dough, without eggs, with less sugar.

Plum Tart – read here the recipe.

Quince Tart – check it out here.

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See here all the disasters in the kitchen. 🙂